A Momentary Glimpse

We found each other somehow once
In the lost wild searching
I have no hope of recovery
Only the understanding of what was

We were right I thought...
Did I imagine a false reality?
The timing was wrong... choices made in haste
Fate intervened for better or worse

I loved you. Did you love me?
I could have imagined it all
I know it was unfair. Expecting nothing
The wanting
of everything

You were right to keep yourself from me
I was right to offer myself to you
What is right anyways? truth I thought
It was
A time

You said things. I did things. we shared everything
Did you feel it? In the end I don't know
Maybe silly. A wondering girl impressed by notions
I don't care about being foolish
It mattered
you
mattered to me

we hurt each other in confusion...disappointment...frustrations.
You were wrong. It was a good match with bad timing
I was wrong to be angry
how could you lend what you may not get back
needing it
without guarantees
did you hurt me on purpose?

I bled. It ached and the missing of you. It
lingers
was it all imagined? Maybe. I could have been fooled.
I saw you. I love wholly.
I was not supposed to. and did.

You could have liked. Needed. Used. It does not matter.
If I read the wrong book in your eyes...
Well.
I wanted to see...know. Hold and dance.
In the unguarded moments we held promise
the beautiful open running red wine and laughing moments
Even in the loud yelling silent hurting there was promise

what could not be was
at least for me
I think of it now and the question of you is left unanswered.
Do you wonder?

You said I was the woman
were you the man? You said you were
If I could fly would you have run the distance?
Unburdened
I lay myself bare
the hiding. ridiculous in the light of memory

Did it matter? My friend and lover
you buried your head in my breast
if only for a moment
was it just to breathe or for other reasons
The work became us
was US

I wanted what could not be mine and was
overreaching
you
overreaching me for me
was it right or just another moment in your busy mind

Straight shooting your armor and appeal
where is the answer to my call?
Lost in the stillness of surrender or alive
in your memory
am I there?

You do not owe me but to say
what was for you
if nothing
i surrender my memory to truth
I believed in you. believed you.
with my body I let you in
were you passing the time or did it occupy you
in my absence?

I expect no response
would be happy with one line
doubtful of your reception of my reach
my friend would tell me
what was real?

Time has moved us on
you said once we would catch up down the road
if you would like not
for
the finding of other moments they will escape us
just know
this is the truth...unguarded and free
it is why and how
you said no goodbye but I believe
you meant
there will be no more
wild searching here.

the moments passed and you with them
I accept
I only wish to know If my mind was full of tricks and illusions
so as not to fall prey to its pitfalls
ahead.

AL